Article summary
Great mentorship is a two-way street. In strong mentorship relationships, both the mentor and mentee engage with intentionality, communication, and trust. Whether you’re stepping into a mentor role or looking to get the most out of your own mentorship, understanding the responsibilities of each role can help maximize the impact of the relationship.
How to Be a Good Mentor
Let’s look at three ways to be a good mentor.
Take on risk.
I attended a LeadDev conference a few years ago that focused on engineering leadership. One theme stuck with me: to be a good mentor, you must be willing to take on risk on behalf of your mentee.
Sometimes that means sacrificing efficiency for the sake of teaching; pausing to explain best practices rather than just handling things yourself. Other times, it means using your influence to advocate for a mentee who may not yet have the cultural capital or confidence to do so. If you’re never stepping outside of your comfort zone as a mentor, ask yourself: are you truly paving the way for your mentee, or just advising from the sidelines?
Evaluate your mentee’s needs individually.
If you mentor multiple people, it’s easy to default to a one-size-fits-all approach. However, effective mentorship requires meeting mentees where they are. Some benefit from structured weekly check-ins and clear accountability. Others may need a more casual, conversational dynamic to feel comfortable discussing challenges. The goal isn’t to impose a rigid framework but to foster a relationship where your mentee feels supported in a way that aligns with how they learn and grow.
Trust comes first.
A mentor can have deep technical expertise, but without trust and intentional emotional intelligence, that knowledge is useless in a mentorship setting. If your mentee doesn’t feel they can be candid with you about knowledge gaps, imposter syndrome, or work struggles, you won’t be able to guide them effectively.
Trust is built through consistency, empathy, and follow-through. Keep commitments, listen without judgment, and make it clear that mentorship isn’t about proving competence—it’s about developing it.
How to Be a Good Mentee
Now, let’s talk about being the one receiving the mentorship.
Advocate for yourself.
Your mentor is likely juggling their own career, team responsibilities, and possibly multiple mentees. To make the most of the relationship, you have to take an active role in your own development.
Write down meaningful moments like praise from clients, technical breakthroughs, process improvements you’ve introduced. If your mentor isn’t someone you work with directly, keep them updated through frequent check-ins or periodic project postcards that summarize your progress. The more they’re aware of your day-to-day work, the better they can advocate for you and provide targeted guidance.
Come prepared.
If you have specific growth areas in mind, bring them to your mentorship meetings. If something at work isn’t clicking, articulate what you need help with. Mentorship is most effective when there’s a clear, ongoing dialogue about where you want to improve.
Not sure what to focus on? Ask for your mentor’s perspective. Sometimes others see patterns in our work—both strengths and areas for improvement—that we overlook.
Prompt regular feedback.
People, even well-intentioned mentors, can forget to give feedback unless explicitly prompted. If you want actionable insights, make it a habit to ask:
- “What’s something I’ve improved at in the last few months?”
- “What’s one thing I could be doing better?”
- “If you were in my position, what skill would you focus on next?”
Inviting feedback regularly makes it feel less high-stakes and encourages your mentor to provide insights they may not otherwise think to bring up.
Benefits for Mentor and Mentee
At its best, mentorship benefits both sides. The mentor refines their leadership and coaching skills, while the mentee accelerates their growth with targeted support. Whether you’re mentoring or being mentored, a thoughtful approach makes all the difference.