You’re new to networking events, the job market, or haven’t had success in the past. Networking events can be awkward, draining, and a waste of time for anyone, even self-described extroverts. For introverts like me, they can easily become harrowing. I’ve wasted quite a bit of my time over the years attending social hours, chamber of commerce meetings, and one-off events. I’m writing this guide to help prevent you from encountering the same trials I have.
Do Your Research
Okay, you have an event you’re invited to or sought out. What’s its story? Has the event existed for years? Is it the first? If it’s been around for a while, there are likely photos of it—gauge the vibe from the photos. How is everyone dressed? You should aim to match within your current wardrobe. No need to wear a white button-up and Patagonia vest to the SF Venture Capital group, but do take notice that everyone is in business casual and match that.
Next up in your research: find out who runs the event. Find them on LinkedIn to put a face to a name. I’ll come back to this later, but spotting the host can be instrumental in having a fruitful time at the event.
Set Your Goals Before You Walk In
Okay, so you know what to wear and a little bit about the event. Let’s head in. No! Let’s come up with a game plan first. What’s your goal in attending? Do you want to meet new people? Learn something about a subject? Find a job? Having a clear goal is important. You could even take this a step further and make quantitative goals like “I want to make 5 new LinkedIn connections tonight.” If you do this, keep it realistic—you most likely won’t leave with a job offer, but you may have a lead or two by the end of the night.
The Small Talk Challenge
We’re heading in. You might be thinking: “Do I need to make small talk?” “I hate small talk.”. And to be honest, this is the most challenging part of writing this article. You’ll likely need to learn how to speak to new people on your own. What works for me may not work for you. Just know that initial interactions can painful for both sides, and you just should try to be as genuine as possible. If you aren’t interested in the conversation, the other person will spot it immediately, so my advice here is just to be kind and care.
Here are a couple of do’s and don’ts for conversations:
Don’t:
- Bring up divisive politics—save your views on abortion, marriage, and gender roles for your friends
- Over-explain things (software engineers, I’m talking to you)
- Bring up your edgy Discord server or group chat—people don’t want to hear about your Discord kitten
- Drink more than a couple drinks if there’s alcohol. If you disagree with me here, ask your colleagues for some feedback. If you actually are the life of the party, then party on, Garth. Otherwise, you should probably scale it back
- Ask people for favors off the rip
Do:
- Ask people how you can help them. No one wants to put their neck out for someone they just met
- Ask people about what they are excited about
- Share something you’re interested in (but again don’t go too deep)
Really the theme here is to do more listening than talking. If you leave a conversation where you listened more than you spoke then chances are you did a great job.
Keep Moving
You’re killing the conversation and you’ve been cornered by a like-minded person who actually vibes with you. Great! Get their info to continue the conversation later. Don’t get bogged down talking to one person the whole event—you should keep the conversations short and sweet. There are a lot of people looking to make connections. Don’t forget your goal! You can easily wrap up a conversation by asking to scan or connect with someone on LinkedIn. It’s a natural and common way to signal the conversation is ending.
The Secret Weapon: Find the Host
Okay, so you’ve found yourself standing alone and no one is following the pac-man rule. This is where your research pays off—find the host. If they’re having a conversation, politely wait within the gravity of the conversation (don’t interrupt anyone mid-sentence), introduce yourself, and thank them for hosting the event. Chances are they’ll be interested in what brought you to it, and they will look to connect you to someone who can help you attain your goal.
Honestly, this is the best nugget in the article. Hosts are usually the most well-connected person in the room and are naturals at putting together professional connections. Now, not every host is a perfect people matcher, and it’s still good practice to ask how you can help them.
Closing Thoughts
I think this is a great place to close it out. Networking events can be tough, but like most interpersonal things, all it takes is caring about the people in front of and around you. Be genuine. Be curious about the people you speak with. Lead with helping.